Amazing Hand Painting Art
Hand Jokes: Cold Hands Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood.
When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"
She says, "Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up."
After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! My hands are really freezing!"
She says again, "Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up."
He does, and again that warms him up.
After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through the night. When he returns, he says again, "Honey, my hands are really, really freezing!"
She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?" 
Hands Jokes: Dog's Hand A man walks into a bar and notices a poker game at the far table. Upon taking a closer look he sees a dog sitting at the table. This peaks his curiousity and he walks closer and sees cards and chips in front of the dog. Then the next hand is dealt and cards are dealt to the dog. Then the dog acts in turn with all the other players, calling, raising, discarding, everything the other human players were doing. However none of the other players seemed to pay any mind to the fact that they were playing with a dog, they just treated him like any other player. Finally the man could not longer hold his tongue so between hands he quietly said to one of the players, "I can't believe that dog is playing poker, he must be the smartest dog in the world!" The player smiled and said, "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."
Hand Jokes: Helping hand
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!" 
The man with one hand
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?To get to the second hand shop.
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